#Project30Before30

There was a point in time when I wanted to grow older quickly so I can do adult things like eat ice-cream for dinner or get a perm/tattoo etc.  Kid, so short-sighted!!

I have been thinking a lot over the last few months about what I want to achieve by the time I turn 30. Having pored over the many bucket lists and x-things-to-do-before-turning-x lists online, I wanted a solid list of things that are specific ("travel more" or "get in shape" is so broad) and somewhat doable ("find someone to love" or "change the world" is not really within one's control).  Here it is - check out #project30before30 on my Instagram account @galflower as well:

1. Complete a 30-day yoga challenge
2. Unplug for 24 hours
3. Do a Color Run
4. Run a 10-km race
5. Watch the original Star Wars trilogy
6. Learn to ride a bike
7. Go whitewater rafting
8. Donate blood
9. Learn an hour of code
10. Visit the Maldives 
11. Play craps at a casino
12. Create a happy board
13. Complete a 30-day shopping ban
14. Learn to parallel park
15. Make a perfect Pimm's Cup
16. Pay off student loans
17. Cross the Brooklyn Bridge
18. Swim with dolphins
19. Watch a netball tournament
20. See the Northern Lights
21. Catch the cherry blossoms
22. Become an organ donor
23. Make a grilled cheese sandwich inspired by Chef
24. Learn CPR
25. Attend a Full Moon Party in Koh Phangan
26. Update all my beneficiary designations
27. Play flight roulette
28. Dine at any 1-star, 2-star, and 3-star Michelin restaurant
29. Read The Little Prince
30. Blog about every item on this list!

100 days

I have always prided myself on being adaptable to new environments.  So when I moved to Seattle, I was caught off guard by how the changes impacted me - a few months later.  And moving to Seattle was my choice, a planned decision, and everyone around me was starting a new life somewhere new after business school.

Given that my move to Singapore was somewhat unexpected and my friends stayed where they were, I was more prepared for the changes to impact me this time round.  And...it was hard.  

I think there is much to say about the 100-day mark.  The success of political and corporate leaders are measured by the first 100 days.  In some cultures, a baby's 100th-day anniversary is celebrated.  To me, my 100th day in Singapore was when I started to accept that although I did not choose to move to Singapore, I can choose to live my life here.

#day124

emptiness

in a land foreign to the mind

yet familiar to the memories

somewhere in between the world I left behind

and the world I'm forced to embrace

the water crashes into the rocks

again and again and again

#day73

Don't tell me to "find someone to marry"

As I started to tell my friends and family that I had to leave the US since I no longer have work authorization, I am truly touched by the people who understood that the news was devastating to me.  Thank you to those who knew me well enough to know that what I needed were hugs as well as "I'm sorry to hear" and "this sucks!".

What I didn't need were comments of "chin up!" or "time will fly by" or "everything happens for a reason" or "you'll have fun in Singapore!", which only served to hurt in ways that I cannot explain.

The worst comment of them all - "Why don't you find an American to marry?".

For the most part, people mean well.  They sometimes don't know what to say in such situations and inappropriate humor become their default tool to diffuse the tension and lighten the mood.  They say it almost in a cavalier manner, as an offhand remark, as if it is okay to say that paper marriage is the magic solution to all my visa woes.

But let me tell you this, it is never okay to say "find someone to marry".

It is offensive on so many levels to suggest that such an arrangement is a viable option and that in order to stay in the US, perhaps it is easier to "find someone to marry" than to be highly educated and skilled.  So what if you have degrees from UChicago and Wharton? So what if you work for Microsoft?  If you want to continue working in the US, it's either the lottery of H-1B visas or go snag yourself an American to get married!

Even if you do in fact have a significant other who is American, the relationship either has progressed to a stage where marriage is in the picture so no harm done (great for you!) or the relationship has not gotten there and this becomes a sensitive topic (sucks for you!).

In the end, a hug is more than enough.

#day60

How did I end up in Singapore?

Here's the quick version of the story: I didn't get my H-1B visa and was relocated to Singapore temporarily for at least a year.  So here I am, back in Asia, still processing all the changes that have happened in the last few months.  I'll get into how I feel another day, but I thought it'd be helpful to clarify a few things because the question I always get is - "Didn't Microsoft sponsor your visa?"

What you need to know about the H-1B visa? 
This is probably the most common work authorization that your international friends have to work legally in the U.S.

• The visa program has a congressional yearly numerical cap.
• Petitions are subject to a statutory cap of 65,000 visas for each fiscal year.
• A U.S. advanced degree exemption is provided for 20,000 petitions.
• Free Trade Agreements reserve 1,400 visas for Chileans and 5,400 visas for Singaporeans.  If unused, the reserved visas are made available in the next fiscal year to applicants from other countries.
• Universities, nonprofit research organizations affiliated with universities, and governmental research organizations are exempt from the cap.
• If there are more petitions submitted than the statutory cap, the visa applications are selected by a computer-generated random selection process, or "lottery".
• Filing period for each fiscal year starts on April 1 and the visa takes effect on October 1.
• International students can work legally in the U.S. for one year on their student visas post-graduation, so applications not selected the previous year would reapply the following year.
• Historically, there has been a "lottery" when the economy is performing well: FY2007-2009 and FY2013-2014.
• For FY2015, 172,500 H-1B petitions were filed for the 85,000 visas (65,000 + 20,000) available, i.e., ~50% of H-1B applications were selected.

So, even with Microsoft sponsoring my visa application, the odds of getting the visa were not that great.  And it did not matter what my education background is or which company is sponsoring my visa.

In reality, I am fortunate that I work for a company that has global presence so an alternative arrangement can be made.  I am also grateful that my team wanted to make this work.  But the whole situation is still pretty shitty so I'll leave it at that for now.

#day50